To my support team that is in Massachusetts... I mean....
Hi (they really don't write letters like they used to eh?),
How's everyone doing? I hope well!
So I've been at Gordon Conwell for one month and I have read many pages, memorized many greek words, and thought a lot of ... well thoughts. Oh, you'd like to hear some? Sure, that sounds good!
First of all, I have had to make many adjustments. Despite this, going from work life to full-time graduate studies has not been that difficult of a transition for me. I feel like the subject matter is quite enriching. I find it is expanding the skill set that will be used in my future ministries. In fact, I think Greek is fun. What? Yeah, you heard right. I'm befuddled too.
Adjusting my personal life has been a bit more difficult though. It's hard not to see Lindsey, my friends, and family as often as I was accustomed to. It's hard to not feel like I am missing out on the building of relationships while I am here. I know that they(you) are praying for me, so I know that I am not forgotten. Thankfully, I have been meeting new people here at GCTS. I seem to have found a group of friends, but everyone is pretty friendly up here.
I get along with both of my roommates. One is from St. Louis, MO (Zach) and the other is from Charlotte, NC (Chaz). Note the exact same letters in their names. I have wanted to call one the other on a number of occasions. I share a room with Zach and a suite with Chaz. I have really appreciated hearing about their church backgrounds, along with many others'. It's so fascinating how differently people worship God.
That is one of the great things about being here, I can learn so much about the other parts of the body by engaging in meaningful (and not so meaningful) conversations. There are many differences even amongst us Christians and its hard to see that sometimes when you are focused on serving/attending a specific church. I am happy that I am able to intentionally engage different cultures through the lens of my faith more. Some people have served in churches all over the country and some are from outside of the country. Some are conservative and some are liberal. Almost all of them like to debate though. haha just kidding. Sort of. I'm waiting until next year or year three for when the really heated battles ensue. The most heated battle I've seen to date was a substitutionary atonement vs Christus victor one. Stayed up til almost 5am with that one.
It makes me think about how I will develop in my theology and as a minister. Will I debate with someone for hours upon hours? Will I be able to defend my stances with ninja-like speed and precision? Or will I simply know what I know and share when I share? I'm not sure and honestly am not as concerned about my debating skills as I am my pastoring ones, though they overlap. I wonder if I will be a strong positive example or a strong negative example. Or maybe I'll be in the middle. Sometimes I think of being great for God, pushing the limit, bringing multitudes of people to Christ and leading my congregation to live on fire for Him, but honestly I'd be happy(er?) being a humble and faithful pastor to the flock God has given me.
I feel blessed to have BCEC as the church I grew up in for many reasons that I did not realize until starting here. I have had a pretty solid base of theological training, despite never studying theology deliberately. There have also been so many people supporting me in my decision to go to seminary. It is also really beneficial having a home church. I don't have to hop around to find one to ask for an internship. It's pretty awesome. Praise God for small/large favors.
I want to leave you with something that I have been finding comfort in. At chapel last week we were looking at Psalm 73 and verse 26 really stuck out to me.
Psa. 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
How amazing is that? Though my flesh and heart will fail (and don't they always?), I will still be strong because of God. This is not what I'm accustomed. Failure usually equates weakness. You fail you are weak and this would still be the case, but because we have such an amazing God, that when we are weak, we are strong. (What up, 2Cor 12?) Think about that. Like really think about it. Maybe I'm not fully fleshing out the verse or properly exegeting it but that sounds like a pretty incredible God to me. We would've never thought of that.
Anyway all that is to say I will struggle and fail, but God will sustain and provide for me and that is quite reassuring. But that doesn't mean I don't need prayer! haha! Here are some ways you can pray for me. Don't forget to tell me ways to pray for you too!
Pray that:
I continue grow in my faith and love of God and His Word
I build a strong foundation of biblical principles and continue working to become a man of great integrity
I can find the right balance between social/personal life and studies
I will grow in my heart to lead through service
I stay healthy, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically (no seminary 17)
That you will be blessed through your prayers and support of me here!
In Christ,
Calvin
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