Plug: Help GCTS out when you shop for books and resources!

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let y'all know that if you're thinking about buying any Christian books, games, music, resources, etc. please consider going to http://gcts.christianbook.com/ because as some of you may know our school is feeling the weight of these current economic times as well and if you shop at this site our school will get a small portion back of all sales. Pretty cool, right?

Oh and their prices are pretty comparable to other websites too, plus you're helping us out.

Anyway, thanks for listening to this shameless plug.

Peace,

c@s

Elohim/Imago Dei

Recently, I had a seminar for the Partnership program I am in. The presenter had much to say about stewardship, but the element of his presentation that stood out the most was the concept of how we view Jesus. 'earmenow!

He questioned us about how we saw God. Do we see God as this "angry powerful tyrant waiting to punish us when we mess up" or do we see Him as this "weak insignificant, powerless and distant God" that is "uninvolved with the nitty gritty of life?" In many cases, these are the views we have of God, but I think clearly these are not accurate portrayals of who God is. He went on to talk about how these images we hold will add additional bumps in the road to being effective pastors. If we do not recover healthy images of God in our minds, we will seriously impede our ability to reach the people we are to serve. Once we have done that, we can then help our congregations recover proper images of God too.

This struck me because I don't think we reflect about how we see God often. In our minds and with our mouths we can say, "God is generous" or "God is faithful," but in our hearts we might think otherwise. When hard times come and when logic fails us, do we think God will provide or that God is in control? I think for many of us, we don't. I think that this means we as Christians must really think and develop a healthy view of God. So, what's that look like? Well, I can't speak on all the elements, but there was one main attribute that he felt was most important. He said our images of God should view Him as a generous God. We have a God who gives generously. "It is intrinsic to His nature. He enjoys [giving]!"

Perhaps you're asking, "But if God is so generous, why do I have to suffer or why do I need to struggle?" I have actually had a number conversations recently that talked about this and I didn't even realize (oops.), but in retrospect I have gone back to this idea of how do we see God? Can we trust His plan for our lives? I think the answer is yes, it is safe to say that God wants us to feel the love, joy and peace of knowing Him better. This does not mean that we won't face hard times and won't bear great burdens, but to overcome them, we must look to God and remember that He will do what is best for us and His glory. At the risk of sounding pretentious I am going to quote Augustine's Confessions to display what I am trying to say because I like the sentiment.

"Our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee"- Augustine

I think this concept is solidified in Matt 11:28-30 which says,

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Maybe I'm oversimplifying it. I don't know, but I think this is what I need to hear when the chips are down in my life. I hope that we will all grow in our reliance and trust in God. If we don't we will not know peace. If He has already saved us from the GIANT problem of our sin, how much more will he save us from the comparatively small problems we face?

A Video I Saw in Class

Just wanted to share a video I saw in class, while I am developing my next post. I have heard about and seen him before, but I thought this was pretty moving and thought-provoking. What did you think about it?

Official update #4

Calvin, called by the will of God to be at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton. Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

To my support team that is in Massachusetts... I mean....


Hi (they really don't write letters like they used to eh?),


How's everyone doing? I hope well!

So I've been at Gordon Conwell for one month and I have read many pages, memorized many greek words, and thought a lot of ... well thoughts. Oh, you'd like to hear some? Sure, that sounds good!

First of all, I have had to make many adjustments. Despite this, going from work life to full-time graduate studies has not been that difficult of a transition for me. I feel like the subject matter is quite enriching. I find it is expanding the skill set that will be used in my future ministries. In fact, I think Greek is fun. What? Yeah, you heard right. I'm befuddled too.

Adjusting my personal life has been a bit more difficult though. It's hard not to see Lindsey, my friends, and family as often as I was accustomed to. It's hard to not feel like I am missing out on the building of relationships while I am here. I know that they(you) are praying for me, so I know that I am not forgotten. Thankfully, I have been meeting new people here at GCTS. I seem to have found a group of friends, but everyone is pretty friendly up here.

I get along with both of my roommates. One is from St. Louis, MO (Zach) and the other is from Charlotte, NC (Chaz). Note the exact same letters in their names. I have wanted to call one the other on a number of occasions. I share a room with Zach and a suite with Chaz. I have really appreciated hearing about their church backgrounds, along with many others'. It's so fascinating how differently people worship God.

That is one of the great things about being here, I can learn so much about the other parts of the body by engaging in meaningful (and not so meaningful) conversations. There are many differences even amongst us Christians and its hard to see that sometimes when you are focused on serving/attending a specific church. I am happy that I am able to intentionally engage different cultures through the lens of my faith more. Some people have served in churches all over the country and some are from outside of the country. Some are conservative and some are liberal. Almost all of them like to debate though. haha just kidding. Sort of. I'm waiting until next year or year three for when the really heated battles ensue. The most heated battle I've seen to date was a substitutionary atonement vs Christus victor one. Stayed up til almost 5am with that one.

It makes me think about how I will develop in my theology and as a minister. Will I debate with someone for hours upon hours? Will I be able to defend my stances with ninja-like speed and precision? Or will I simply know what I know and share when I share? I'm not sure and honestly am not as concerned about my debating skills as I am my pastoring ones, though they overlap. I wonder if I will be a strong positive example or a strong negative example. Or maybe I'll be in the middle. Sometimes I think of being great for God, pushing the limit, bringing multitudes of people to Christ and leading my congregation to live on fire for Him, but honestly I'd be happy(er?) being a humble and faithful pastor to the flock God has given me.

I feel blessed to have BCEC as the church I grew up in for many reasons that I did not realize until starting here. I have had a pretty solid base of theological training, despite never studying theology deliberately. There have also been so many people supporting me in my decision to go to seminary. It is also really beneficial having a home church. I don't have to hop around to find one to ask for an internship. It's pretty awesome. Praise God for small/large favors.

I want to leave you with something that I have been finding comfort in. At chapel last week we were looking at Psalm 73 and verse 26 really stuck out to me.

Psa. 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

How amazing is that? Though my flesh and heart will fail (and don't they always?), I will still be strong because of God. This is not what I'm accustomed. Failure usually equates weakness. You fail you are weak and this would still be the case, but because we have such an amazing God, that when we are weak, we are strong. (What up, 2Cor 12?) Think about that. Like really think about it. Maybe I'm not fully fleshing out the verse or properly exegeting it but that sounds like a pretty incredible God to me. We would've never thought of that.

Anyway all that is to say I will struggle and fail, but God will sustain and provide for me and that is quite reassuring. But that doesn't mean I don't need prayer! haha! Here are some ways you can pray for me. Don't forget to tell me ways to pray for you too!

Pray that:
I continue grow in my faith and love of God and His Word
I build a strong foundation of biblical principles and continue working to become a man of great integrity
I can find the right balance between social/personal life and studies
I will grow in my heart to lead through service
I stay healthy, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically (no seminary 17)
That you will be blessed through your prayers and support of me here!


In Christ,



Calvin

PS. follow my blog at calvin-at-seminary.blogspot.com/ for more up to the minute updates.

First Lesson Ever Review

Ok I've listened to it once.

I felt I did ok. I stuttered and stammered a bit. I walked around the room a lot. Some of these are my quirks and some of these are reactions to nervousness.

It wasn't as interactive as I'd like it to be. I don't know if people were tracking, but silently thinking about what I was saying or if they were bored to silence. I hope its the former because I do believe what I was teaching and think it is so important to hear, but the latter is quite possible. I think my strength was speaking anecdotically. I think thats because I think and express myself best in analogies. I just need to tie it back into the lesson at hand better.

Anyway, here it is.

http://blog.karenoch.com/trellis/#will It's under God's Will (Fall 2009) - My Lesson is called the State of the Search for God's Will. Audio is my voice. Handout is my worksheet.

Any constructive criticisms are welcomed.

Thanks

First lesson ever preview

So my first step into the world of teaching is not complete. Did I step well? Did I slip? Did I step in some poop? I think the easy answer is, yes.

I haven't had a chance to listen to myself yet, but I wanted to get a few thoughts down about how I feel before I review my lesson and inevitably beat myself up. In a good way.

I really appreciated all the people who stopped to give me a word on encouragement. Whenever I feel like I didn't do great and people tell me I did, I always have slight doubt of their truthfulness. I know that's wrong and I'm working on it. I do think they are genuine in their comments and meant what they said though. I'm sure it wasn't terrible, but I think I'm really focused on improvement and because of that I am only seeing the areas of growth. I guess I should stop and recognize the task I have completed and praise God for getting me through. Hold on. I'll be right back.......ok back. It essentially needs to come back to God. I can work to improve my teaching skills on my own and they may improve, but I need to humble myself and remember I am doing God's will by teaching about ... well for now, God's will.

I've been reading Proverbs and there were a couple verses that stuck out to me pertaining to wisdom/teaching and felt related to today.

Proverbs 9:10

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 15:31-33

³¹ He who listens to a life-giving rebuke

will be at home among the wise.

³² He who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

³³ The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom,
and humility comes before honor,

I found it interesting that both talked about fear of the Lord is the gateway to wisdom. I also appreciated hearing about humility coming before honor. I think that fits in well with my last post about how in the past I wanted to put honor before humility. It's a reminder that I'm not done being humbled now that I'm teaching. If anything I need to humble myself more.

Normally rebuke and discipline don't inspire great thoughts in many people's minds, but these verses bring me some relief because they're reminders that I won't get better until I am humbled. I know that I need to be taught how to be better and much of that will probably come from someone other than me. I have to "heed correction" so that I can "gain understanding" and improve. I mean I don't love failure and criticism is always hard to hear, but they are so necessary for progress. It's like that old adage: you can't teach a lesson without breaking some eggs...or is it you can't make an omelet without writing a lesson plan? Either way, I've got a long way to go.

Let the task of listening to myself and beating myself up begin. I'll report back after I've listened and reflected.

First. Lesson. Ever.

Tomorrow I will give my first lesson ever, in trellis. It's an odd place to be because in a lot of ways I have thought about my natural abilities to teach for so long, but I understand better how I have so far to go.

When I was younger, I'd think, "Yeah, I could totally teach." I'd really think about how funny I was (which I wasn't.) and how smart I was (which I definitely wasn't.) It was like the world needed to hear from Calvin. Can you say self-serving visions of grandeur? Thankfully I was not given too many venues to address the masses, though I did feel like it my right to speak out and disrupt in sunday school classes. Slowly I began losing interest, finding my fix of attention elsewhere.

I think one of the biggest reasons I did not think about going to seminary sooner is not because I hadn't thought about it, in fact I thought about it a lot and for a long time. It's because I needed to be knocked down a peg. Or two. Or five. Basically I needed to get the right perspective in terms of my desire to serve God, as in not self-service. It took a number of years to eat all that humble pie, but I got my fill. When I was finally ready, I did feel much excitement, but a part of me began the process with a bit of doubt. Not because I wasn't sure, but because I didn't feel ready. It was almost like I preferred to go when I had everything in order and when I was a seasoned vet, but alas that was not the case. (Ironically I will speak on God's will tomorrow and what I felt is what many people feel. I may link to a podcast of my lesson so you can criticize me... constructively of course.)

Despite not feeling ready, I think that was the right attitude for me because I knew I wasn't choosing me because honestly ... who would? But it was God choosing me and that was the exciting part; knowing that He'd give me exactly what I need. I think its hard to choose a life of a full-time minister. From what I hear it can be a hard life. Not only will everything about your life be judged (see my previous post on family life and elders.), but you will be judged harder. But at the same time there is great joy in being chosen to teach. I've run off into a rabbit hole. Let me pull us out.

All this to say, it feels like I know so little about teaching. I really feel humbled and know that I am a baby preacher. I know that I will make stinky messes in my preaching pants (not literally...hopefully), but that's ok because (hopefully) my perspectives have changed from being focused on me to being focused on God, truth, and my audience's growth. I'm ok with looking bad as long as God looks good...unless my looking bad is heresy. That is a no-no.

Let's be honest, I could be funny or witty on any platform (for-humors-sake.blogspot.com) but I want my words to matter and I want those words to change lives. I want God to give me the right words that break hearts and lift spirits simultaneously. I want people to leave a sermon or a lesson I teach and for them to go, "I don't remember what that guy's name was, but man, that was full of insight." I'd like to be great but for God. So much so that God' would be remembered and I'd be forgotten.

Be warned, I'm saying this now, but even as I typed that last sentence, I felt the desire to not wish for such things. I know that my big head (literal and figurative) will get puffed up (even more?!) I'll think, "Hey, I'm awesome," and sing praises to myself. Hopefully, I'll be kept in check when it happens. If you see me being arrogant, please kindly and lovingly rebuke me.

Else, keep praying for me. I need it. I still look at myself and wonder ... how am I doing this? God, that's how. Hallelujah!