In the Middle of the Storm

Hey everyone,

I am in the home stretch of my first semester at GCTS and to say the least I have a lot on my plate. I just wanted to update you all and ask for your prayers.

My roommate asked to me the other day, "How do you eat an elephant?" I didn't know the answer. "One bite at a time," he responded. This is how I feel right now. I have a giant elephant that must eat and I am feeling slightly overwhelmed by the task at hand. This is escalated by some family issues at home, specifically in regards to computers.

The other sunday, we sang "Your Beloved" and I felt quite moved by the one line "Unashamed to call me Your own." It's crazy that God would be unashamed to associate with us, at least with me. I'm inconsistent, prideful, and a whole lot of other things that aren't so great. Yet, God is proud to call us His.

This means so much to me right now in this moment because as I am trying to devour this figurative jumbo, I am feeling my self-worth slip. But I'm trying to cling to God and find peace in Him.

So please pray:

• that I will remember God loves me whether I get an A or an F in my classes
• that I will handle my family situations with grace and love
• that I will focus on finishing the tasks at hand and that I will do that by God's power and not my own

Thanks,

c@s

Thanksgiving

This past Wed. in chapel, we studied the concept of thankfulness from the lens of Ephesians 5:19-20. Let's look.

Eph. 5:19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

He presented that thanksgiving and gratefulness should be the main parts of Christian faith/life and began by contrasting Christian thankfulness and standard human-powered thankfulness.

Human-powered thankfulness usually sounds like "just give thanks" or "see the silver lining" and honestly these mentalities can work. I can keep thinking positively and I can be a more grateful person but frankly it cannot be kept up for very long. Thankfulness that relies on our own willpower fails very quickly, as I'm sure many of us have seen. This is because, as the preacher said, ungratefulness is a state of being. At our core, we do not default to giving thanks to others, but are more likely to give blame and take credit. Isn't this how some of us react to God when things don't turn out our way?

Christian thankfulness, on the other hand, has Christ as its source. Our ability to be thankful always and for all things comes from our Lord Jesus Christ alone and it starts with a realization of our inability to do so on our own. We are powerless against this sinful nature. It's like ungrateful children anonymous. "Hi my name is Calvin and I am perpetually ungrateful." ("Hi, Calvin.")

This made me reflect on why is it that we as Christians dislike saying grace so much or praying around others at all for that matter. Maybe it is something about praying in public. Some say we fear that other people will judge the way we pray or that we'll say the wrong words. These might seem like valid reasons, but I wonder if its really something else.

Is it because we are not thankful enough? or Do we not realize how thankful we should be? I think for many of us, this could be the case.

To expand on one of the preacher's examples: If I was shipwrecked and the coast guard came and picked me out of the water, saving me from my death, I would be thankful. I would probably say thanks, soaked, exhausted, and ineloquently. I would not care how I looked or sounded. I'm not going to not thank them because I haven't written this beautifully flowing sonnet of praise. I'm going to just give thanks from the bottom of my heart because this person saved my life and without them I would be dead.

Considering this, how much more thankful should we be to the God that pulled us from death of drowning in the sea of our own sin?

I think perhaps many of us who claim to be Christians think our situations before we were save weren't so dire. If we're right then what do I really need to thank God for? When He gives me a good test score? When He gets me a free parking spot in Boston? Praise be to God!

Unfortunately, that's just not the case and the danger with this mentality is when we hold it, we build our lives around our merit and ourselves and not around God. If this is true, then it makes perfect sense why our image and reputation are preventing us from sharing about God's blessings. We think a good prayer needs to be eloquent, full of theological terms, and poetic because if it doesn't we are somehow less of a Christian or less spiritual. But I think God would be just as satisfied if we prayed like a shipwreck survivor and saying, "Thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! In Jesus name I pray." He might even be more satisfied if these words reflect a truly grateful heart opposed to a well-rehearsed statement.

Let us really search ourselves and ask, "Who's opinion is preventing me from speaking to others with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs? What aspect of my self-centeredness is holding me back from always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ?"

So as Thanksgiving begins to roll around, let us seriously reflect on everything that God has done and truly give thanks to Him for it all. Hopefully we can praise God with others and maybe, just maybe, we will volunteer to say grace.

Sorry for the lack of posting!!

Man! I apologize to those who normally read this blog. I have been so busy it's been nuts, but it's that kind of good busy! I have like ... 20 posts in development and I will work on fleshing them out. Just know that all is well! Praise be to God for that!

Thanks for still caring!

c@s

Plug: Help GCTS out when you shop for books and resources!

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let y'all know that if you're thinking about buying any Christian books, games, music, resources, etc. please consider going to http://gcts.christianbook.com/ because as some of you may know our school is feeling the weight of these current economic times as well and if you shop at this site our school will get a small portion back of all sales. Pretty cool, right?

Oh and their prices are pretty comparable to other websites too, plus you're helping us out.

Anyway, thanks for listening to this shameless plug.

Peace,

c@s

Elohim/Imago Dei

Recently, I had a seminar for the Partnership program I am in. The presenter had much to say about stewardship, but the element of his presentation that stood out the most was the concept of how we view Jesus. 'earmenow!

He questioned us about how we saw God. Do we see God as this "angry powerful tyrant waiting to punish us when we mess up" or do we see Him as this "weak insignificant, powerless and distant God" that is "uninvolved with the nitty gritty of life?" In many cases, these are the views we have of God, but I think clearly these are not accurate portrayals of who God is. He went on to talk about how these images we hold will add additional bumps in the road to being effective pastors. If we do not recover healthy images of God in our minds, we will seriously impede our ability to reach the people we are to serve. Once we have done that, we can then help our congregations recover proper images of God too.

This struck me because I don't think we reflect about how we see God often. In our minds and with our mouths we can say, "God is generous" or "God is faithful," but in our hearts we might think otherwise. When hard times come and when logic fails us, do we think God will provide or that God is in control? I think for many of us, we don't. I think that this means we as Christians must really think and develop a healthy view of God. So, what's that look like? Well, I can't speak on all the elements, but there was one main attribute that he felt was most important. He said our images of God should view Him as a generous God. We have a God who gives generously. "It is intrinsic to His nature. He enjoys [giving]!"

Perhaps you're asking, "But if God is so generous, why do I have to suffer or why do I need to struggle?" I have actually had a number conversations recently that talked about this and I didn't even realize (oops.), but in retrospect I have gone back to this idea of how do we see God? Can we trust His plan for our lives? I think the answer is yes, it is safe to say that God wants us to feel the love, joy and peace of knowing Him better. This does not mean that we won't face hard times and won't bear great burdens, but to overcome them, we must look to God and remember that He will do what is best for us and His glory. At the risk of sounding pretentious I am going to quote Augustine's Confessions to display what I am trying to say because I like the sentiment.

"Our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee"- Augustine

I think this concept is solidified in Matt 11:28-30 which says,

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Maybe I'm oversimplifying it. I don't know, but I think this is what I need to hear when the chips are down in my life. I hope that we will all grow in our reliance and trust in God. If we don't we will not know peace. If He has already saved us from the GIANT problem of our sin, how much more will he save us from the comparatively small problems we face?

A Video I Saw in Class

Just wanted to share a video I saw in class, while I am developing my next post. I have heard about and seen him before, but I thought this was pretty moving and thought-provoking. What did you think about it?

Official update #4

Calvin, called by the will of God to be at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton. Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

To my support team that is in Massachusetts... I mean....


Hi (they really don't write letters like they used to eh?),


How's everyone doing? I hope well!

So I've been at Gordon Conwell for one month and I have read many pages, memorized many greek words, and thought a lot of ... well thoughts. Oh, you'd like to hear some? Sure, that sounds good!

First of all, I have had to make many adjustments. Despite this, going from work life to full-time graduate studies has not been that difficult of a transition for me. I feel like the subject matter is quite enriching. I find it is expanding the skill set that will be used in my future ministries. In fact, I think Greek is fun. What? Yeah, you heard right. I'm befuddled too.

Adjusting my personal life has been a bit more difficult though. It's hard not to see Lindsey, my friends, and family as often as I was accustomed to. It's hard to not feel like I am missing out on the building of relationships while I am here. I know that they(you) are praying for me, so I know that I am not forgotten. Thankfully, I have been meeting new people here at GCTS. I seem to have found a group of friends, but everyone is pretty friendly up here.

I get along with both of my roommates. One is from St. Louis, MO (Zach) and the other is from Charlotte, NC (Chaz). Note the exact same letters in their names. I have wanted to call one the other on a number of occasions. I share a room with Zach and a suite with Chaz. I have really appreciated hearing about their church backgrounds, along with many others'. It's so fascinating how differently people worship God.

That is one of the great things about being here, I can learn so much about the other parts of the body by engaging in meaningful (and not so meaningful) conversations. There are many differences even amongst us Christians and its hard to see that sometimes when you are focused on serving/attending a specific church. I am happy that I am able to intentionally engage different cultures through the lens of my faith more. Some people have served in churches all over the country and some are from outside of the country. Some are conservative and some are liberal. Almost all of them like to debate though. haha just kidding. Sort of. I'm waiting until next year or year three for when the really heated battles ensue. The most heated battle I've seen to date was a substitutionary atonement vs Christus victor one. Stayed up til almost 5am with that one.

It makes me think about how I will develop in my theology and as a minister. Will I debate with someone for hours upon hours? Will I be able to defend my stances with ninja-like speed and precision? Or will I simply know what I know and share when I share? I'm not sure and honestly am not as concerned about my debating skills as I am my pastoring ones, though they overlap. I wonder if I will be a strong positive example or a strong negative example. Or maybe I'll be in the middle. Sometimes I think of being great for God, pushing the limit, bringing multitudes of people to Christ and leading my congregation to live on fire for Him, but honestly I'd be happy(er?) being a humble and faithful pastor to the flock God has given me.

I feel blessed to have BCEC as the church I grew up in for many reasons that I did not realize until starting here. I have had a pretty solid base of theological training, despite never studying theology deliberately. There have also been so many people supporting me in my decision to go to seminary. It is also really beneficial having a home church. I don't have to hop around to find one to ask for an internship. It's pretty awesome. Praise God for small/large favors.

I want to leave you with something that I have been finding comfort in. At chapel last week we were looking at Psalm 73 and verse 26 really stuck out to me.

Psa. 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

How amazing is that? Though my flesh and heart will fail (and don't they always?), I will still be strong because of God. This is not what I'm accustomed. Failure usually equates weakness. You fail you are weak and this would still be the case, but because we have such an amazing God, that when we are weak, we are strong. (What up, 2Cor 12?) Think about that. Like really think about it. Maybe I'm not fully fleshing out the verse or properly exegeting it but that sounds like a pretty incredible God to me. We would've never thought of that.

Anyway all that is to say I will struggle and fail, but God will sustain and provide for me and that is quite reassuring. But that doesn't mean I don't need prayer! haha! Here are some ways you can pray for me. Don't forget to tell me ways to pray for you too!

Pray that:
I continue grow in my faith and love of God and His Word
I build a strong foundation of biblical principles and continue working to become a man of great integrity
I can find the right balance between social/personal life and studies
I will grow in my heart to lead through service
I stay healthy, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically (no seminary 17)
That you will be blessed through your prayers and support of me here!


In Christ,



Calvin

PS. follow my blog at calvin-at-seminary.blogspot.com/ for more up to the minute updates.